Tag Archives: Humour

Charlie’s Quotes

We went back to my hometown this weekend as it was my sister’s birthday. We were getting a bit bored so we decided to play a quick game of Trivial Pursuit. Someone got this question

Anyway, it turned out the answer was Germany, and my father said that it made sense as it was the biggest country in the EU. Charlie responded with:

“Oh, not because they keep putting their towels on the seats then?”

Nice.

Things I Say in my Sleep

Paranoia’s setting in I think.

“Too, too, too coincidental”

Hear it here.

Things CHARLIE says in her sleep

My sleep talk app did something new a couple of nights ago, it picked up Charlie talking in her sleep! Not only was it unexpected, it was hilarious!

“Yeah…(ahem) she might ask me where Saturn is, we’re in trouble”

Now I don’t know if Saturn is a code word and she thought she was a spy or if she was actually worried about terrorists stealing the ringed planet, but it’s very funny. It might just be Charlie’s subconscious trying to make my blog all about her.
Listen to it here.

Charlie’s Quotes

Be careful not to annoy Charlie or she might say to you what she said to me last night.

“I’m going to thump you in the heart”

’nuff said.

Things I say in my sleep

I surprised myself with my ability to annunciate whilst sleeping with this one!

“They spell really well.”

Hear it here.

Charlie’s Quotes

Charlie and I were having a few glasses of vino with the TV on in the background, and the original Total Recall was on (again), anyway Charlie came out with this

“Would you really choose three boobs over two? Where would you put your head?”

I nearly spat the red wine all over the carpet.

Things I say in my sleep

Here’s a good one, not only is it weird, it’s complete gibberish.

“Puddle, Magnetic”

Hear it.

Charlie’s Quotes

A while back Charlie and I were discussing birthdays and she mentioned that unfortunately she shared her birthday with Adolf Hitler. Interested I looked up if there was any Celebrity/Fascist Dictator I shared a birthday with and the search came up with Marvin Gaye. When I told Charlie she responded with this:

“I’d rather be Marvin Gaye than Hitler”

No shit, babe.

Things I Say in my Sleep

I have an app on my iPhone called Sleep Talk. Basically it allows you to monitor yourself while you sleep and records any noises you make. Most of the time it just picks up my snoring but occasionally it’ll record me saying ludicrous things in my sleep. Here’s a good one.

“Why’re you trying to get bones?”

Listen to it here
Creepy no? I have no idea what I was dreaming. I’ll post more of these as good ones come up.

Charlie’s Quotes

My fianceé Charlie is a very lovely, intelligent woman with a great sense of humour. Sometimes, however, her brain will go on a short sabbatical and leave me sitting with something akin to a female Karl Pilkington who will come out with such ludicrous questions and statements I will not be able to breathe for laughing.
It is my aim to document these quotes on here as they happen as I usually forget them and curse myself for doing so.

Here’s a cracker she came out with on the way back from a wedding fayre this evening.

“You know how your nose is connected to your mouth and your lungs? How does your body know where to put stuff?”