Charlie just asked me this question
“Do you always have to be so blunt and rude? I’m a people pleaser and what you say reflects badly on me.”
Yes. Yes I do. Everybody’s got a deal, and bluntness is mine. I do appreciate you making me laugh by asking me this though. 🙂
Charlie was saying how whenever there’s a death in a family there seems to be a baby being born, I was arguing that both events occur so often that this cannot be seen as anything other than a coincidence when she came out with this cracker:
“I don’t know that many people who have died, and I don’t know that many people who have been born”
I had no idea you were such a loner babe.
We went back to my hometown this weekend as it was my sister’s birthday. We were getting a bit bored so we decided to play a quick game of Trivial Pursuit. Someone got this question
Anyway, it turned out the answer was Germany, and my father said that it made sense as it was the biggest country in the EU. Charlie responded with:
“Oh, not because they keep putting their towels on the seats then?”
My sleep talk app did something new a couple of nights ago, it picked up Charlie talking in her sleep! Not only was it unexpected, it was hilarious!
“Yeah…(ahem) she might ask me where Saturn is, we’re in trouble”
Now I don’t know if Saturn is a code word and she thought she was a spy or if she was actually worried about terrorists stealing the ringed planet, but it’s very funny. It might just be Charlie’s subconscious trying to make my blog all about her.
Be careful not to annoy Charlie or she might say to you what she said to me last night.
“I’m going to thump you in the heart”
Charlie and I were having a few glasses of vino with the TV on in the background, and the original Total Recall was on (again), anyway Charlie came out with this
“Would you really choose three boobs over two? Where would you put your head?”
I nearly spat the red wine all over the carpet.
A while back Charlie and I were discussing birthdays and she mentioned that unfortunately she shared her birthday with Adolf Hitler. Interested I looked up if there was any Celebrity/Fascist Dictator I shared a birthday with and the search came up with Marvin Gaye. When I told Charlie she responded with this:
“I’d rather be Marvin Gaye than Hitler”
No shit, babe.
My fianceé Charlie is a very lovely, intelligent woman with a great sense of humour. Sometimes, however, her brain will go on a short sabbatical and leave me sitting with something akin to a female Karl Pilkington who will come out with such ludicrous questions and statements I will not be able to breathe for laughing.
It is my aim to document these quotes on here as they happen as I usually forget them and curse myself for doing so.
Here’s a cracker she came out with on the way back from a wedding fayre this evening.
“You know how your nose is connected to your mouth and your lungs? How does your body know where to put stuff?”