Charlie and I were having a few glasses of vino with the TV on in the background, and the original Total Recall was on (again), anyway Charlie came out with this
“Would you really choose three boobs over two? Where would you put your head?”
I nearly spat the red wine all over the carpet.
Here’s a good one, not only is it weird, it’s complete gibberish.
A while back Charlie and I were discussing birthdays and she mentioned that unfortunately she shared her birthday with Adolf Hitler. Interested I looked up if there was any Celebrity/Fascist Dictator I shared a birthday with and the search came up with Marvin Gaye. When I told Charlie she responded with this:
“I’d rather be Marvin Gaye than Hitler”
No shit, babe.
I have an app on my iPhone called Sleep Talk. Basically it allows you to monitor yourself while you sleep and records any noises you make. Most of the time it just picks up my snoring but occasionally it’ll record me saying ludicrous things in my sleep. Here’s a good one.
“Why’re you trying to get bones?”
Listen to it here
Creepy no? I have no idea what I was dreaming. I’ll post more of these as good ones come up.
My fianceé Charlie is a very lovely, intelligent woman with a great sense of humour. Sometimes, however, her brain will go on a short sabbatical and leave me sitting with something akin to a female Karl Pilkington who will come out with such ludicrous questions and statements I will not be able to breathe for laughing.
It is my aim to document these quotes on here as they happen as I usually forget them and curse myself for doing so.
Here’s a cracker she came out with on the way back from a wedding fayre this evening.
“You know how your nose is connected to your mouth and your lungs? How does your body know where to put stuff?”